Washboard Abs
by Do You Wonder
Summary: James has a story to tell. But will everyone enjoy it? Based off of "Big Time Break." My first One-Shot and first Big Time Rush story. Hope you like it! :


_**Here is my first-ever Big Time Rush story! And first-ever one-shot. Congrats, Carlitos, Logie-bear, Jamie, and Kendall! (I don't know what Kendall's nickname is…) That new single was AWESOME! WOO HOO!**_

_**It's written from James's POV.**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Big Time Rush…*swoon…* I can only dream…**_

_**Please let me know what you think. CC is welcomed and taken into account!**_

* * *

A storm was going on outside. And one heck of a storm, too. The TV signal was gone and the power was out and there was no cell phone reception. Even when I made Carlos sit on the refrigerator with my iPhone. There's ALWAYS five bars up there. If there is no signal on top of the refrigerator, then there is a serious problem. Not that Carlos didn't like sitting on the refrigerator. He enjoys being taller than us for a change, and jumping off and trying to land on a pillow (which he always misses by a mile.)

Anyway, we were all getting really bored with all to look at as a bunch of flashlights and candles. So bored in fact, that I think my hair was starting to frizz a little. For once in a blue moon, I really didn't care.

"I am soooo BORED. BORED, b-b-bored, b-b-b-b-bored. Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya phbphbphbphbphb…" Carlos was stetched out on the orange sofa, helmet lopsided.

"Carlos, how many times have we told you, don't watch Annoying Orange? That thing messes up your mind!" Kendall exclaimed.

"He makes a point…" Logan agreed.

"Can we have corndogs? Or fish sticks? Or Fruit Smackers, or SOMETHING!" When Carlos is hungry, always expect drastic measures. Like once, he followed Kendall around for three hours until he gave him a dollar for Fruit Smackers. And another time he refused to eat, drink, talk, or move from one spot until someone gave him a corndog. He lasted about thirty minutes, which for Carlos, is a lot. And he didn't break because someone gave him what he wanted, but because the Jennifers walked by in slow-motion.

I quickly thought of something to pacify my Latino friend. "Did I ever tell you the story of my Washboard Abs?"

Everyone looked at me. "YES. DON'T tell it again…for the FIFTH time." Logan hated that story. Almost as much as he hated Carlos's used Band-Aids left on the sink.

"It all started when I was just seven years old…"

"Oh my GOD…"

"Not again…"

"NOOOOOO!"

* * *

"_No, Mom! Why should I go to the doctor? I'm not even sick!"_

"_It's a check-up, sweetie. Just to make sure everything inside of you is working properly."_

"_Fine. Do I get a treat after?" _

"_Maybe." _

"_YESSS! Ice cream!" I eagerly climbed into our family minivan. _

"_Perhaps. Now keep quiet, I have to drive." Mom had this rule. Don't talk to the driver. EVER. Unless it's an emergency. So I was quiet for the ten-minute drive. _

_When we pulled up to the hospital, it looked to me like a place where you see on the side of the road, but look away because it's so scary. Like a haunted house. There were always sick people there, and people in wheelchairs, and medicines and needles. I hate needles. The thought of them gives me the creeps. Luckily, I'm not so afraid of them to cry like a baby every time I get a shot. It just feels really weird._

_Anyway, I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for something to happen. The mere five minutes felt like hours. I decided to read a magazine. There was no "Kids Discovery" magazine, so I was forced to pick up a "Men's Health." The cover was the thing that really caught my eye. All my life I had wanted to be strong, be able to pick up a refrigerator like the guys on TV. But this guy on the cover of Men's Health was nothing I could have imagined. I wanted to be exactly like-_

* * *

"Okay, you've made your point. Can you stop now?" I opened my eyes from the wonderful reminiscing and met Logan's irritated voice.

With a sigh, I replied, "Dude, I'm halfway through. You can't stop this awesomeness after it's already begun." He buried his face in a purple pillow and groaned.

"So where was I? Yes…"

* * *

_I wanted to be exactly like him. Under the picture there was a caption-"Get the washboard abs that you've always wanted. Page 17." Not knowing what 'washboard abs' were, I turned to page seventeen. Maybe it was what people called really big muscles. But it was incredible timing because just then, the receptionist at the desk called out in her way-too-high-to-be-real voice, "James Diamond?"_

_I pouted, put the magazine down, and got the stupid check-up over with._

_Luckily I managed to glimpse two words off the magazine before I left. Abominable Crumpets._

_And the worst part was, that stupid dumb doctor never gave me a lollypop._

* * *

"And that's how I got my Washboard Abs." I grinned and began my "Ab Dance." But I was interrupted by a very irked Logan.

"Hey, before you do your retarded "Ab Dance", you forgot to mention the most important part. Remember when-"

"The most important part's over. The part with me in it." I resumed my dance.

"I remember it like it was yester-"

"Logan, you were just complaining about hearing a story. Now you are telling one!" Carlos crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, as Logan began his side of the tale…

* * *

"_Hey, Logieeee!" James skipped into my blue-tiled kitchen._

_I eyed him suspiciously. "How did you get in here?"_

"_I crawled in through the doggy door." Wow. He was a pretty convincing liar._

"_Really?" I took a bite of my double-chocolate cookie._

"_Nope. Your mom let me in. Anywho, I have a question for you. A question that needs your smartness." _

"_Well, luckily, ahem, I am a genius," I proudly nodded my head and crossed my arms._

"_Yeah. Whatever. So…what does "abominable crumpets" mean?" He looked truly confused. I mean, I would have, too._

"_There is no such thing as "abominable crumpets.""_

"_There is too! I saw it in a magazine."_

"_Oh yeah? Which one?" I crossed the room and faced him with a frown._

"_Men's Health."_

"_Ohhh…It's Abdominal crunches. Sit ups. You read it wrong." I rolled my eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It was, actually._

"_So If I do sit ups a lot, I'll get all muscley like the guy on the front of the magazine! Right?"_

"_I guess so…but there are other things you have to do to-" I was about to finish my sentence, but the breath was knocked out of me by my very happy friend."_

"_Thanks, Logie! See ya later!" James skip-hopped away without another word. But he did leave with one of my cookies._

* * *

"That's not how it happened!"

"Of course it is, James. If it wasn't, how would I be still mad about the cookie?"

"You're still mad about that little cookie?" We were both yelling at this point.

"So you admit that it happened! And yes. I am still mad about the cookie. It was double chocolate. They only sell those for a week during the winter every other year!"

"Oh my God. Really?" I threw up my hands in frustration.

"Yes. And without me, you wouldn't even know what a washboard is. Or what abs are."

"HEY! LISTEN!" We stopped arguing for a little to listen to Carlos. "I would rather fall down the stairs and land on my head than listen to you guys. Not just your fighting, but your ridiculous stories. So I am leaving." He grabbed his helmet and stomped out of the living room. We all kept quiet until Kendall broke the unnatural silence.

"You two should probably go apologize to-" He stopped and jumped a foot off the couch at the sound of a loud 'thump, thump, thump…THUD.'

Logan chucked. "I bet ten bucks he fell down the stairs."

"Well, he took his helmet, he's probably fine. I'll go see. Come on, Kendall."

"Hey, bring be back some double choco-fudge cookies!" Logan called out.

"As soon as it's the middle of winter."

"Oh, shut up."

"What? What was that? I couldn't hear you." Okay, I admit, now I was just trying to irritate him.

"Just go check on Carlos." I raised my hands in defeat. I wasn't sure if that was exasperation in our Logie's voice, or annoyance, or both. Probably both.

But what I could be sure of, was that there was a big pile of Carlos at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, man. You predicted you would fall down the stairs. You're like, psychic!"

I heard a muffled voice that sounded far away and vaguely familiar. "James, you keep talking and I'll predict where my fist will be in the next twenty-four hours."

I suddenly remembered something. I grinned. It was something very important. "Hey, speaking of hours, do you guys remember the time I did push-ups for three hours straight?"

* * *

_**Just some stuff…**_

_**I didn't know how to write a "raspberry", you know that thing you do with your tongue? So I just wrote "phbphbphb…"**_

_**I put way too many page-break-line-thingies in the story.**_

_**Sorry if I didn't put Kendall in the story enough to your liking. I don't like him as much as the rest. He's still cute though! (:**_

_**Another Disclaimer: I don't own Annoying Orange, Apple iPhone, Men's Health Magazine, Kids Discovery magazine, or Fruit Smackers. And I don't even know if Fruit Smackers are real.**_

_**I was watching that episode "Big Time Break" when I came up with the idea for this. Ya know, when James does his Ab Dance…tee hee!**_

_**I'm not that good of a writer (yet), so don't be mean! I don't mind constructive criticism, but if you have something to say, please back up your statements. Thanks for your consideration.**_

_**So… there's my crappy little one-shot. Even though it's pretty bad, I'm proud of it. I know those awesomely epic and hot guys deserve better in honor of the release of their new single. This sounded a lot better in my head. So let me know if you liked it. Let me know if you hated it. If it's terrible, tell me that and I'll try to fix it. It's my first one-shot and my first BTR story. So I need to know if it's good. Or not. Whatever. Please review. Please?**_


End file.
